Ugh. Some bad and good news. I just got back from counselling.
BAD: The anti-depressants seem to be making my anxiety worsen by each passing day. I get paranoid of the Shadow People, afraid of trusting, also tons of overthinking.
GOOD: The anti-depressants are elevating my mood. They are in full effect now.
BAD: I am still fatigued and tired. Still lack motivation. In addition, I still have a lesser form of depression present; I am very irritable and I get into (verbal) fights due to misunderstandings. This may not be the best medication for me due to the side effects (suicidal impulses, increasing anxiety, bottled-up anger, loss of appetite, still fatigued).
GOOD: Because the anxiety has suddenly gotten so bad that I am finding it difficult to use the telephone, the counsellor is referring me directly to the UBC Hospital Psykiatry for further urgent care. I should expect a call from them in the next 2 days.
SUMMARY: At the end of Wave 7, after a fight with a loved one, I figured that there is a new problem developing; anxiety and irritability which is drastically making relationships and socializing difficult. So I brought this up during counseling and it seems to be a bigger problem than previously thought. I am positive I will get this solved soon. It must be solved soon because I want to be able to properly socialize. I’ve been avoiding outings with friends lately because I get nervous and scared for no reason and I am hurting people that I love.