12:40 AM

I am SO proud of myself!! I’ve finished that 2500 word essay (8 pages) in 5 hours including 5 outside research paper citations!! It is due on Monday and I’ve finished without procrastinating on just now today, Saturday night (without procrastinating until the final minute). This is a big deal for me; I’ve used to pull all nighters the day an assignment was due. Slowly, I’ve been getting over that habit until I got hit with my current bout of no motivation and constant crying.

I am getting better at not procrastinating. In fact, I aim to have things done a day before usually … but this paper in particular is assigned during a very difficult anti-depressant trial period … back then, and somewhat now, when I stuggled between the huge contrasting waves of elation or sucidal thoughts. 

Currently I don’t experience the waves, but I am still at a constant low. In addition, the medicine is making me feel more fatigued than usual, thus starting/finishing assignments or having concentration is quite difficult. But I celebrate this victory because it not only means I’ve completed an assignment early, but I’ve done so through the mental struggle for the first time (I am a chronic class skipper and procrastinationator). I am very happy and feel stress-free.


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