June 14, 2016

My stomach has still been hurting the last few days. I’ve had to use the washroom often too. I felt nauseous last night and felt like throwing up, but I slept it off. I shall go buy some anti-nausea medicine later. It is interfering too much with my routine. 

Also in the past month or so I have been getting motion sickness. I have never experienced motion sickness prior to starting Lithium so it took a while to identify what it was. It kinda sucks because I’m some one who will gobble up a cheeseburger less than a minute before riding a roller coaster and be perfectly okay. 

9:46 PM

Phew a weekend of work done! I just need to get something off my chest … sexist customers.

I was cashier-ing at work and a customer didn’t know to use his credit card that well. There is a “tap” function for work but it is slow so I repeat to every single fucking (regular) customer to hold a bit longer or just do it myself for them.

Anyways, today I told one customer “Hold the card a bit longer please, it is a bit old so the sensitivity has gone down”. His response? “The machine isn’t old, it is slow and doesn’t work well because it’s a female“. GOD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. I hate being on the job and forced to deal with this bullcrap. I laughed uncomfortably and smiled while waving goodbye. When he was like “Am I right? Right?”, several times, to see if his joke was funny I just pretended not to hear him and took the next person. Hell, I feel bad for his mother and all the female relatives that he has.

Hooray for being passive aggressive. It is the only way to show anger and let out hate due to offensive comments while working in retail. Retail and dealing with sexism and racism teaches you patience, and makes you lose all your remaining 1% faith in humanity thus turning you into a murderous sociopath.

Now if only I could let out my anger in a more constructive way but I dunno …. evil schemes that must not be mentioned. Mwahaha…..

2:55 PM

I made my own baby power!

Ingredients: Cornstarch, a cotton ball, some perfume 

  1. Put 40-50 squirts of perfume on cotton ball.
  2. place cotton ball on bottom of jar
  3. fill 3/4 with cornstarch 
  4. SHAKE (after placing the lid of course)

Apparently baby power is linked to ovarian cancer so I’m not risking anything. Homemade baby powder smells, costs, and feels much better!

2:01 AM

I went to the psychiatrist yesterday again, and the dose of Lithium is up, now it is 900mg (3 capsules). I should be starting to take them all at night inside of spread out throughout the day, but my body is not adjusting to it yet. How do I know? The side effects of upset stomach. My stomach feels terrible. I’ve been taking Gravol to help, but it is so bad I’ll wake up in the middle of the night with stomach pains. Also nausea is a side effect I have been experiencing too, and I noticed that I get motion sickness since taking Lithium. 

At least I have no sucidal wave side effects, huh?

The psychiatrist and I will be working on healthy anger and stress management next meeting. Also I asked her to help me work on my passive agressiveness and it is becoming an issue in my relationships with others.