This song deserves no link so I will post a wonderful parody by the Auckland University Law students (LAW students!!!) you should watch instead. There will also be no lyrics provided at the end. I will now proceed to rant.
***Content warning for all the borderline sexual assaults in the shitty song***
The original song lyrics are so disgusting. No means no. The line is defined and not movable. The line is not “blurred”. Girls are not animals, and should not be described as domesticated. Don’t smack a girl and pull her hair. If you have a girlfriend, don’t cheat on her for a “hotter bad bitch”. Calling yourself a “nice guy” means you ain’t no fucking nice guy. Someone who is nice does not need to call themselves nice, everyone already knows. If you need to yell that you’re a “nice guy”, then you’ve got some work to do to prove it.
This parody is a purposeful role reversal to make you think and feel uncomfortable. But you know what? The same derogatory things are done to the men in the parody as the women in the original. We’re just more used to seeing women in that position that it is weird to reverse it.
You can learn a lot about someone by listening to their playlists. A simple google search can turn up too many articles of people trying to study this connection.
For example, I am often classified as INTJ or INFJ in the myer-briggs 16-personality types tests. My musical choices match up with the personality types’ music choices (alt. rock and classical) on this website. (Note: my INTJ/INFJ disreprencies may be due to me taking the test on a manic mood than retaking in a depressive mood. My mood may affect my answers. I am more pensive when depressed versus being more reckless and confident when manic. Who knows??).
It is interesting to note that my music choices depends on my mood. No, I don’t mean sadness or neurotypical moods. I mean hypomanic or depressive. It’s complicated; hypomanic sad music and depression sad music is completely different.
Anyways, I’m gong to be doing the 30 Day Song Challenge. I won’t be doing it for 30 days straight. More like once a week when I have nothing queued up because I am busy studying. It is more like a 30 week song challenge, but the “days” are prompts. Also for some of the days I have more than one song. There will be a number one choice, followed by the runner ups. I mean I’m only posting the song challenge once a week, so I think its okay it I occasionally have more than one song. I’ll also post the lyrics so you don’t have to search them up.
At the end of the song challenge, I will post a master list without the runner ups.
Of course this is just a glimpse of the music I enjoy. The prompts don’t allow me to fully share all the wonderful artists I listen to. You might notice I have a bunch of “older” stuff, yes, because I like it and music has no expiry date. Also I have no consistent music genre (much like my mood …haha.. self depreciating joke?). I can go from alt. punk to classical. I mean, get you a girl than can do both, right? 😉
I will start posting the songs next week… I need some time to get my shit playlist together of course.
Something different today! Currently I am studying anatomy and my textbook was discussing the skull and spinal cord. To be honest, it is boring textbook shit. Making it seem interesting is my way to continue studying. Straight up memorizing the 206 bones of the human body (by name and place on the body) is tedious, so READY FOR SCIENCE AND OVERTHINKING??? TBH this is possibly my longest and most ambitions post yet.
I’ll be answering two questions in this post. If you don’t wanna read my heavy anatomy/science reasonings, I have a bolded title: “TL;DR” at the very end of this article. You can’t miss it, I made the font HUGE. Makes your life easier 🙂
A good ol’ anatomy meme.
A good ol’ Tumblr meme explaining how I feel.
Content warning, I understand some people may be uncomfortablesoif you’re afraid of skulls/skeletons, there are pictures of some in this post. “Attack on Titan” is gory, and I have cartoon gory pictures from the anime below. Also obviously anatomy related *Attack on Titan Season 1 spoilers*. There are anatomy related manga spoilers at the end but I will warn you. Also, I’m just a student, not a professor, so my word is not the law.
*** Attack on Titan Season 1 spoilers below***
But honestly, who hasn’t watched it? Lol
Lately I’ve been watching season 2 of “Attack on Titan”/ “Shingeki no Kyojin”. I’m not much of a TV show or anime person (I’d pick playing video games over them any other day…. POKEMON) but I’ve been using it out of desperation to stay motivated and not fall asleep in class *cry* that is how boring it is. What better way to learn anatomy than see it in action and to criticize it? I was considering about watching “Grey’s Anatomy”, but there are 13 seasons so if I get addicted, it is game over… Versus 2 seasons of “Attack on Titan” with 20 min episodes each …. Aint nobody got time for 1 hour episodes. So that is what I’ve been doing, criticizing that anime’s anatomy. Sometimes the anatomy hurts, other times it is good to see illustrations of specific muscles and drawings are easier to understand than real life (the muscles are pretty accurate and can be used for study references…. if you don’t mind pausing every frame and whipping out a textbook). I’m pretty sure most people know the gist of it… Creatures called titans eat humans, but to kill titans, one must make a deep cut into the nape of their neck. Some people can turn into titans, they are titan shifters. Titan shifters are present in the nape of the neck, and reside somewhere in the nape.
Question 1: But where exactly do you make the incision on the nape of the neck? From what I’ve watched from the anime, the nape is this vague region on the back of the neck. The cut needs to be deep enough to sever the spinal cord to kill a titan. But if you think about it, the back of the neck is quite vast. There are several vertebra (individual spinal cord bones) that are present down along this area. Here are is my line of reasoning.
Firstly, below is a picture of the spinal cord. The spinal cord along the back is protected by bone. The soldier’s primitive swords in Attack on Titan probably are not strong enough to cut through bone (keep in mind they have limited technology, and their swords are built like a shitty dollar store utility knife and often break mid-battle, but if is possible if they are strong enough but it would require lots of strength/effort), so they need to find the exact place where there is the least protection from the swords. That would be the top of the spinal cord, where the brain ends and neck begins. It would be the ‘Cervical area” (there are 7 cervical bones, numbered C1-C7. Cervical nerves and cervical bones are DIFFERENT, see the notes at the bottom of the pic below) and specifically above bone C1 would be the place to make an oblique, upwards incision. But of course if they manufactured their weapons better to cut through bone, anywhere along the spinal cord would work. In addition, there could be exceptions where cutting at specific angles from the side would touch the spinal cord and sever it. I am saying the most logical and easiest way to sever the cord due to lack of bone and protection would be above C1.
As you can see, there are protruding bony structures that jut out and protect the spinal cord. The spinal cord in encased in bone.
Need more convincing? See each picture’s captions for my explanation. These are my own pictures taken during labs when I fiddled around with bones. The first 5 feature plastic bones. *Content warning* for the last one which is a real human vertebrae.
Question 2: But where does the Titan-Shifter sit? We know they reside within the back of the neck, and they can be easily sliced out of the flesh. They are not shown encased in bone, so this leads me to conclude they must also sit around the same area, the C1 vertebrae bone or at least down along the C1-C7 vertebrae/ neck bone areas. Fun fact, C1 is also called the “atlas” after the Greek God because it holds up the world, aka the human head. Humans are pretty big and take up some space, so during the whole process where the human resides within the titan and controls it, part of their body could reside in the foramen magnum, which is the little space with no bone above the C1 vertebrae/ the atlas. Or at least their head would reside in the foramen magnum, depending on how tall the titan is, because as humans, our heads are quite large and a protruding bump in the skinny neck of a titan looks suspicious. See the pic below, this is a side x-ray view of the skull and neck area. The foramen magnum is in yellow. Also, after these 3 anatomy pictures, I have a bolded warning for Attack on Titan MANGA spoilers!!!
Another picture of the foramen magnum, this one is looking the skull in a different angle:
***** ATTACK ON TITAN MANGA SPOILERS!! ( minor- only anatomy related)****
More elaboration on the foramen magnum and my anatomy related assumptions on the titan shifter location below from the Shingeki no Kyogin/ Attack on titan MANGA:
*RANT, feel free to skip this paragraph long rant* Yeah, I read the manga, what’cha gonna do? I needed to know what was in that fucking basement, and the suspense was killing me. I’m not waiting another 4 years to get season 3 animated. Ain’t waiting for nobody. Except maybe Eren Jäger … and no it is not spelled Yeager like it is on all the official Japanese merchandise because his German last name is the German translation of “hunter” which would be “Jäger” not “Yeager”. It could also be Jaeger but the umlaut, (which are the two dots above a vowel) is preferred in German writings. Using “ae” instead of “ä” is for America where the umlaut doesn’t exist on keyboards. Somebody (Fansubs and legit translation companies), didn’t do their research on linguistics and the German language before attempting to translate from German words from Japanese to English thus Yeager is used. Yeager is now widely used but it is not the actual spelling for the word “hunter” in German, which defeats the whole purpose/pun in his last name because Eren hunts titans. Jäger = “hunter”, Yeager = a rip-off of Jäger that became standardized by America due to a series of mistakes and laziness. *DONE RANT*
ALRIGHT! These shots are from Attack on Titan manga, Chapter 51, page 37. I’ve done my best to black out plot related stuffs just in case a certain extremely tall and clumsy Eren Jäger out there is still going to go ahead, ignore my warnings, and read this shit. I will explain the images after.
Pic 2 is for additional information as it reveals the removal of the brain and spinal cord. While the scientific terms were not used and exact location not specified, we can safely assume it is the top of the C1 vertebrae bone (aka the axis), right where the spinal cord and brain meet.
So in pic 1 it is revealed that the back of a titan’s neck (aka: nape/ C1-C7 vertebrae) is 1 metre. The rough estimate of a human back of neck (aka: nape/ C1-C7 vertebrae) is 10 centimetres. Let’s use titan shifter Eren Jäger as an example. He is 5′ 7″ tall = 170 cm = 1.7 metres. A titan nape is 1 metre. Where does that extra 0.7 metres go? The brain is the source of all nerve signals and control. It would make sense that that Eren’s head resides inside the foramen magnum of the titan’s head so he can control the titan. As revealed in the manga and suggested in the anime, the human and titan fuse together. If the human controls the output of nerve signals, which is along the spinal cord that comes out of at the base of the skull at the foramen magnum, then the human can control the titan. The human’s spinal cord can fuse with the titan spinal cord together at this epicenter of nervous signals. In other words, if the human can control the brain messages coming out of the titan’s foramen magnum, then they control the titan. The titan shifter must at least occupy the space between the C1 vertebrae bone and the foramen magnum cranial hole to hijack the titan from within.
***END OF SPOILERS***
I hope everything made sense. I don’t know if the anime’s official (unrevealed) anatomy agree with me or not, but to the best of my limited knowledge, and attempts to make anatomy class interesting for myself, those are the things I’ve concluded! Feel free to add on to my deductions about “Attack on Titan” and human anatomy.
Fun facts: the scientific term for the general nape of the neck area is mentum nuchae (the latin word nucha means “nape of neck”). The muscles that protect the nape of the neck area, and the muscles that are sliced when the nape of the neck is sliced begins at the part of the skull called external occipital protuberance. Y’unno when you rub the back of your head and feel bony bumps? That is the external occipital protuberance, and there the neck nape muscles begin. In a way and at the right angle, if the anime characters in “Attack on Titan” made an incision at the external occipital protuberance, they would have a lot of fun sliding into the spinal cord. >:)
I might do another “Titan X blank ” post on nerves and the brain to study for my final exam … but who knows? This post took a long time to write and organize so we’ll see. But it really helped solidify my learning.
Question 1: Where is the nape of the neck/ where is the incision most likely to take place? Nape is at the C1-C7 veterbrae/ spinal cord. The best way to sever the spinal cord without the spinal cord bones in the way is on top of the C1 vertebrae (aka Atlas).
Question 2: Where does the shifter reside? Along the C1-C7 verterbrae, as the titan nape is typically only 1 metre long, part of the human titan shifter may reside within the foramen magnum, a large hole in the skull that sits right above the C1 vertebrae where many nerves travel out. The human can use this nerve epicenter to control their titan.
Tortora, G. J., & Tortora, G. J. (2014). Principles of anatomy & physiology, 14th edition. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
My personal goal of starting this online journal was to be comfortable with being open. At the beginning, it meant sharing my struggles with mental health, and learning how to communicate my thoughts (from my depression diagnosis to my current bipolar diagnosis and everything in between!!). This was my form of shouting into the void, and getting everything negative out. I feel more comfortable doing that now, and I am able to discuss updates on my mental health with my mom, or make jokes about it with my family. I don’t get into the nitty-gritty with them, but overall summaries. Through the shadow people scare, I learned that telling people and reaching out ASAP meant my problems would be solved ASAP. In a way I guess it was also a test of me being able to get help when needed… which I succeeded.
That being said, I’ve distanced myself from my friends. I’ve never discussed my mental health with most of my friends. There are literally just 8 people, including my family, who knows about my current diagnosis because I told them. When I was in the hospital last year, some friends who had no idea I was having a major episode of depression, got a sudden text that I was in the hospital. They took the time and cleared last-minute schedules to visit me the next day. I felt like an asshole for seeing their concern and love, yet never opening up for these people whom I’ve known and trusted for years. It felt like I betrayed them and was a shitty friend, and they were a bit upset because it seemed like I didn’t trust them enough to share my personal struggles.
But I think in general I don’t like talking about my mental health. It doesn’t define me so why does it matter? I don’t want my mental health to define me, or people to say “Oh, there’s that bipolar girl”/ “OMG, that is Amanda, she has bipolar disorder”. I want my mental illness to be irrelevant like my favorite fruit, watermelon. No one says “Oh there’s that girl who likes watermelon”/ “OMG, that is Amanda, her favorite fruit is watermelon”. (On a tangent, I also hate being called short or referred to as the short girl. You’re just asking to be on my hit list. I am petty and will literally hold a grudge against you forever. I can still list the people who have made height jokes about me. Unless it is a professional environment I will not hesitate to let you know your jokes are not appropriate nor appreciated).
Anyways, I have an Instagram account ( upsidedown_turtle ) that is rarely in use, but connected to all my friends. Over the past month I’ve put the website to this blog up and down and up and down on Instagram because I was afraid. At first I was scared of being open about sharing my mental health struggles and having people define or judge me for it. But I’ve decided to let it stay for now. If people judge me for it in reality, so be it. I know who not to waste my precious time on. I have no time for people who won’t accept me and will not spend time convincing them to do so. I may take it back down in the future but for now it will stay.
That being said, those that do care can learn more about me, and choose to support if they want. I hope my friends understand that this is a gesture of me attempting to be more open/honest with them. I understand I can be distant and not good with conversations in person, but this is an honest view into what is going on in my life to make up for it. Life is busy, and I have little spare time, but catching up with me can be easier by this. Written communication is easier than verbal small talk. I hate small talk…. but this is a rant for another day.
I’ve watched the sequel to “Avatar: the Last Airbender” in my first year of university when my mental turmoil began and really related to the messages in the series. Recently, I’ve introduced my boyfriend to “Avatar: The Legend of Korra” so he is watching for the first time, while I watch it for the second time. Watching it again allows me to analyze it instead of bawling my eyes out like I did when I first watched it. Hey, it gets pretty emotional okay? Unpopular opinion but, I like “The Legend of Korra” more than “The Last Avatar”. I feel as if the 17-19 year old Korra is more relatable than a 10-year old fun-loving kid. Sure I watched “The Last Airbender” when I was around Aang’s age, but I didn’t understand the complex plot, and focused on the funny stuff. After re-watching Aang’s story, I found that it lacked depth and was more about the shits and giggles. It was kid-audience oriented. I enjoy watching Korra more as it is relatable.
Korra is a sheltered young adult nearing her twenties and has somewhat literally the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her parents sheltered her and provided from her, and she has no idea what the real world is like and is trying to learn about society while gaining independence. I feel that the children who outgrew Aang and now come back to the series with Korra, a protagonist the same age as them, can relate to her. As a more adult oriented series, the series has become darker and contains hidden messages while maintaining the family oriented exterior.
I’d like to share some relatable quotes that stuck with me and may or may not have made me cry the first time I watched it. That being said from here on it is SPOILER ALERT FOR SEASON 1.
“You’re the smartest, funniest, toughest, buffest, talentedest, incrediblest girl in the world!” – Bolin
I was like: YES!!! When this was said. Bolin, a young male friend of Korra’s, was trying to win her over romantically. But instead of calling her beautiful and reducing her to appearance (which often happens in reality when a guy tries to win over a woman by using her appearance or falling in love based on appearance) he pointed out her other amazing traits. This wonderful make role model gave so many flattering compliments… none about appearance!!! It is so important for a TV show that has a child and family orientated audience to include that to demonstrate the need to look beyond appearance!!!
“Admitting your fears is the first and most difficult step in overcoming them.” – Tenzin
I cried when first seeing this scene. Korra was keeping her fears to herself all bottled up and struggling by herself. Until, at this scene, she finally broke down and spilled the truth to her mentor. She admitted her fears (which occurred through several episodes as we watched her suffer) and truely cried for the first time shown to the audience. Keep in mind she prided herself in being fearless and believed she was invincible because she is the Avatar, but at that moment she realized that being physically strong and appearing tough isn’t the way to go. She realizes mental fears must be discussed with others because bottling it up inside and fighting fears all alone will eventually weaken the physical state too as we can only bottle up so much.
I really related to that scene. And yes I cried the first time watching it. Because Korra had the same coping strategies as I did, and I knew how it felt to finally spillover and breakdown after pretending I was tough for so long. The scene felt so realistic and I couldn’t believe it is a family oriented show with amazing life messages. Korra finally opened up about her fears and got support and guidance. This is important. Opening up, admitting your issues and talking to people is the first step in recovery. For my mental issues too, talking to friends, writing about them, ect. helps me understand myself and receive help when needed. And yes, it is the most difficult step, as Tenzin said. Because I had to get over my pride and get rid of my self-image, and admit the shameful feeling of being weak. After admitting it (never again denying it or running away), one accepts the fact, and can work to get over it.
“When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change.” – Avatar Aang
Korra, stripped of her bending, is implied to be contemplating suicide (of course it wasn’t too obvious due to the family orientation, but it was hidden). She runs away from her loved ones and stood at the edge of a high clif as her teardrop falls over the edge. Then sits and cries. If she jumped and died, then the avatar cycle would allow the next avatar to be reincarnated with their full powers back. She feels worthless because her identity was removed. An avatar that can’t bend is no avatar. Then Aang appears (in spiritual form), says the above quote, and restored her powers.
When watching this scene for the second time yesterday, I was reminded of myself last year. I felt like shit during my lowest depression episode and didn’t want myself to do anything drastic (like hurt myself of contemplate the same as Korra) after a close call a few weeks ago. You could say I was at my lowest. I was desperate and reached out to a friend and admitted to them that I needed help. I just didn’t care anymore and was desperate to not feel like shit. An hour later I was safe in the Emergency and got connections to the help I needed and the medications I’m currently taking. Rewatching Korra at that scene really made me remember and relate to that quote that I was, in fact, most open to change when I was at my lowest.
“The morning is evil” – Korra
Need I say more? Let’s end on a happy, humorous quote.
Meet one of my favourite comedians! I found her on one of those YouTube sessions where one clicks on random videos. Freaking hilarious. She deals with issues like subtle racism in everyday life as well as a comparison between different cultural norms.
I’m taking a psychology course because what the hey…. it never hurts to learn more. We’re currently on the mental health unit, which I am doing suspiciously well (hahaha). It was quite comforting when the professor started the unit off sharing his own struggles with depression during university undergrad. It took a lot of effort to not cry tears of gratefulness in class, or cry when remembering my own struggles as the professor talked about his own. I am so glad he did that because I felt less alone. If only I took this class two years earlier, and heard about his story and noted down the links for help he provided. Yes, he provided links and possible sources of accessible help/counselling!!! What an amazing and truly caring professor 😀 It goes to show, everyone, including professors, suffer from mental health disorders.
The previous unit we learned that there are legit methods for measuring stress. There are different stress scales for different age groups, because buying a house is probably not a stressor for college students, and getting good grades is not on the minds of adults in the workforce.
Holmes and Rahe is the main and most famous stress scale. It was made by Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe, whom were both psychiatrists. They asked patients to self-report stressful events (stress scale) and compared their scores on stress scales to actual medical records to determine the average stress scale points per issues. This is accurate and has been tested for validity in multiple populations, they also accounted on the fact that some life events are more/less stressful on some cultures than others (such as weddings, some cultures have week/month long weddings; childbirth in a developed vs non-developed; entering university, and entrance exams; and divorce stigma).
Both measurement quizzes are pretty self-explanatory. Both quizzes measure how stressed you are at the moment. Levels of stress will always change, so the next time you take the tests, it may change. There is an average score, if you get below the score, you’re less stressed. And if you’re higher, you’re very stressed, and please take care of yourself! When you’re stressed you’re more likely to get the flu.
(Why does stress make you sick?)
Going on a scientific tangent, getting super stressed all the time and not relaxing makes you sick because repeated long term stress changes the way body deals with stress, in a negative way! Stress is an evolved human response from threat. Normally when we are stressed, our adrenal glands are activated which: 1) increase heart and respiration rate which then causes more oxygen in blood stream; 2) increase in cortisol which then causes more glucose in the blood stream. This repeated chronic stress cycle causes a constant stress response that the body must keep up which is called general adaptation syndrome.
Why is general adaptation syndrome bad? There are 3 phases to this.
Alarm Phase – the initial healthy response to stress as I mentioned above (increase in heart rate which cases oxygen in bloodstream; and an increase in cortisol causing more glucose in blood)
Resistance phase – the body adapts to the high stress “alarm phase”; this constant state of alarm takes a lot of energy to maintain so to compenstate, non-stress related processes are shut down (like digestion, cognitive abilities, reproduction)
Exhaustion phase – the body cannot cope anymore because all your other processes were shut down. The result is feeling burnout, illness, injury, and possibly death (eg. people being overworked to death, known as “Karōshi” in Japan).
Btw: I am not a professional, I’m just sharing interesting things I’ve learned in class because learning more doesn’t hurt! And now you’re learned why you tend to get sick after a stressful event, or why we catch a terrible bug at the end of exam seasons. Treat yo’self when you feel stressed; it is an investment for your physical health ❤